What defines you?

     Change is good! Change makes us flexible. And stronger. Right??? Sometimes we gracefully move in the direction the universe is telling us to go and other times we go kicking and screaming!

     I have this friend...we met in a normal way but became fast friends immediately. It was like I knew her soul and she knew mine. She is older than me. Her children are around my age. Maybe it is her motherly instinct or our spirits reaching out for each other, but for whatever reason, we bonded through acupuncture sessions. She is a healer and I needed healing. She is a master of change and truly has faith she will be led in the direction she is meant to go. Soon after I met her, she packed up and moved to Hawaii. I was sad, but she knew she had to go. We lost touch for a year or so then one day, she randomly texted me and said she was back! She didn’t have a job or a place to live but she knew her current life calling was here, in St. George. Soon after she moved back, I was put on bedrest. The pregnancy was rough. And scary. Along with my family, she was an amazing support to me through the pregnancy and NICU experience. We had a few (what she called) “helping visits” where she would come over and clean or do laundry. It was hard for me to accept the help, but she didn't give me the chance to refuse. A beautiful friend in my time of need! She has since moved on to a different calling in California but I bring her up because I am inspired by her free spirit. I want to be like her!

My dear friend and baby R

As a person who carefully plans everything...and I really do mean everything...I currently find myself in a bit of a transition period... 

     I’ve been a teacher for twenty years. Ouch! Half of my life??? Teaching is what I do, it's who I am. The role of teacher kind of defines me. Well...yeah...I am also a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister...but my calling...my purpose has always been to teach. I never wanted to do anything else. My calling to help young people with their education and self-discovery was always clear to me. So you can imagine the big feelings going on inside me as I am coming to terms with the truth that I am currently not a teacher. Of course I will always be a teacher at heart, but I am taking a break. I need a break. The decision didn’t come easily. In fact, it was a battle with myself for weeks. There were many conversations in my home about it and a lot of questions we needed answered. Losing my pay and benefits when I was pregnant was devastating and we are still recovering from it. So the biggest question was, "Can we make this work?" Here is where the faith comes in...like I mentioned before, I REALLY need a break. I felt like I was limping along through daily life. I wasn't a good teacher or a good mother or a good wife. It was hard to get up in the morning and all I could think about for most of the day was going back to bed. The details of my health issues aren’t important in this story, but there are some big things going on with me and I need to figure them out. So what is important in this story? Just the awareness that I need some time to focus on myself, my health and my family. I have possibilities and options and honestly, as I stand at the threshold of opportunity for healing and self discovery, I feel a tingle of excitement, but also fear of the unknown. Big fear! 

Let's take a selfie! 

The role of teacher no longer defines me. I plan to go back.
I don't know where or when. It might be soon and it might not. But I can't give up the passion that easily. ;-) But for now, I'm going to take care of myself and my family and do my best to accept what the universe hands me!